When we first moved into our home in January 2014, we decided it was best for my Mom to have the master bedroom, and to have Jeff's room be centrally located in the house because of his needs. So the first bedroom, located just off the living room, became his - well ours. But it always felt like his - never ours. Yes, I slept there every night too, on my inflatable, non-permanent bed. But when we talked about the room, it was always "Jeff's room" or "Daddy's room" not "Mom and Dad's room."
It's not a very big room, with not a very big closet, so we had a lot of Jeff's medical supplies stored around the room. It wasn't very neat, but it was functional.
And it totally worked for us in the beginning.
But having to lug my mattress in and out of that room every day was taxing.
So I ordered a twin bed. And I was prepared to set it up in the office and sleep apart from Jeff.
Then my Mom sat down with me and Jeff and said, "I'm ready to switch rooms with you guys." We looked at her rather puzzled. She had mentioned when we moved in that when Jeff and I were ready to move into the master, she would be happy to take one of the smaller rooms. We honestly hadn't given it much thought. And when we did, we were hesitant to make the move because the master is located at the back of the house, and Jeff was worried that he might have anxiety about being alone back there - in case he needed something and we couldn't hear him if we were in a different part of the house.
But the more we thought about it, and pondered the pros and cons, the more it sounded like a really good idea.
Of course I had guilt that my mom would have to downsize her room so drastically. But she reassured me that she was ready, and that we needed the master bedroom more than she did. And her being ready made us ready.
And so, we put our plan into action.
It took days to prepare everything for the final move. We had to move things from closets out into the staging area of the garage. Switch clothes and shoes from one closet to the next. Decide how to set up the new rooms, etc.
Once we got all the preliminary stuff moved, it was time to move the beds. My Dad came over and helped with all the heavy lifting. First we moved my twin bed into the master, then moved Mom's bed out and into the living room temporarily. Then we moved a very large, very long dresser into the office. Lastly, it was time to move Jeff's bed into the master. This one was tricky. Jeff has a hospital bed with a motor on it that raises the head and feet. I know that when the supply company set it up, it came in three or four separate pieces. Of course I didn't hover over them to watch how they put it together; therefore, I had no idea how to take it apart.
The bed frame is brown metal with a green mattress that sits on a maze of springs. I swear it looks like a hospital bed from the 1940s. It might be for all I know. It's also extra long, so we were going to have to figure out how to take it apart in order to bend it enough to get it around the sharp corner and into the master bedroom.
We were gambling here because the whole move was hinging on us getting this bed into the master. I guess we should have started the whole thing with this particular bed move, but what the heck ... we were living on the edge.
When we took off the mattress, my Dad and I looked at the bed-o-springs with furrowed brows. We were sweaty and tired, and quite frankly, not sure how we were going to do this. Jeff drove up in his chair, and in looking over the tangle of metal, quickly figured out where the springs came apart so that we could bend the frame. He also advised that the headboard and footboard should come off to help make the move easier.
Once we got it apart, my parents and I slowly but surely moved that clunk of metal and springs down the hall, and successfully got it into the master. Setting it back up proved nearly almost as tricky as taking it apart. But we did it. I'm so thankful I have parents who are both able and willing to do this kind of stuff for my family. Because it certainly took a team to get this done.
It took several days for me and my Mom to set up our new rooms. And it's now been a couple weeks since we've made the transition.
My Mom had to downsize considerably to move into her new room, and she's done a great job. She's created a cozy, colorful spot that suits her just perfectly. And she loves her new room. Once again, she's gone above and beyond.
Her act has opened a new chapter for us. One that begins with our new room.
Here's some pictures.
It's over twice as big as our old room. Plenty of room for both of our beds, and for Jeff to maneuver his chair.
We absolutely love it.
We love how big it is. We love that all Jeff's medical supplies can be hidden away in the large closet instead of sitting out, staring at us, constantly reminding us of their intrusion into our lives. We love having the bathroom so close. It makes things so convenient.
But what we love most is our time we get to spend in there with Evie.
In our old life, the three of us spent a lot of time in the master bedroom. Each evening we would unwind in there by eating snacks, relaxing, and watching TV. Jeff and I would joke how we finally had a three bedroom home, and yet every night we would all huddle together in the master (including our two cats). Our old master bedroom was the heart of our old house.
Neither one of us realized how much we missed that.
Until we got it back.
Once we were settled, Evie immediately started filling our room with her presence. Her sweet voice drifted in and out, and we would find her in there relaxing on my bed watching a video on her tablet or doing a craft.
Just this morning she climbed into bed with me bringing two dollies with her, and she played quietly while I transitioned from sleeping to waking. We heard Jeff stir, and we both lifted our heads to look at him in the mirror. When he saw our two heads pop up, he said it was the cutest thing he's ever seen.
Jeff and I have our sanctuary back. It's quite different than it used to be, but the feeling is the same.
Jeff summed it up best the other night when we were talking about our new room, realizing how much we missed having a space of our own, and the difference it's made in our new life. He said to me, "I don't feel like we're trying to make it work anymore. It's just working now."
Our room is filled with love.
So are our hearts.