More Than a Papa

It's Father's Day here tomorrow, and I want to dedicate this post to the first man I ever loved: my Dad.

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Neither Jeff nor I grew up with grandfathers in our lives. Jeff never knew his, and by the time I was five years old, both of mine were gone.

Evie is lucky to have four grandparents who love her - and she loves - very much. 

But there's one who holds a very special place in her heart and in our life.

When he pulls into the garage and opens the door to come into the house, he is met with a greeting from Evie that no one else receives. No matter where she is in the house, or what she's doing, she ceases all goings on, and screams, "PAPAAAAA!"

She knows that when Papa arrives, she's going to get some very special one-on-one time with him.

I happen to know all about this special one-on-one time. Because when I was Evie's age, I got that same special treatment. But back then he wasn't known as Papa. I simply called him Dad.

My dad has been there for us from day one of Jeff's injury. He was the first person I called after Jeff had been loaded into the ambulance. He met us at the hospital, and he drove Evie back to our house that night while I dealt with the shock and confusion following Jeff's accident.

A couple years later, when my family moved to Las Vegas to be closer to Jeff's parents, my dad followed suit. And over the last few years, I've not only grown closer to my father, I've also watched him develop special relationships with both Jeff and Evie.

He's not just a father-in-law to Jeff, he's also a great friend. And that means so much more than I can express - to both me and to Jeff. While Jeff still has his buddies in his life, he mainly interacts with them online. So face-to-face interaction is rare. That's where my Dad comes in. They watch sports together, and love talking about football, basketball, and golf. If there's days where Jeff can't get out of bed, my Dad pulls a chair into the bedroom so they can watch TV together. A couple years ago, Jeff got my dad hooked on Game of Thrones, and while Evie was at school, and I was busy doing work around the house, they binge watched the entire series! They talk about everything, even things you aren't supposed to talk about like politics and religion. Their views might not align exactly, but they respect one another and can have a level-headed discussion. My Dad's ability to intelligently engage with Jeff on a variety of topics is invaluable. And it's something Jeff needs. It's the type of interaction that fills Jeff's tank and keeps him looking forward to another day. 

And then there's his relationship with Evie. They are two peas in a pod, and have made some lasting memories together over the past few years. On the issue of full transparency, Evie bosses him around something fierce. But that's what I love about my Dad. He lets Evie decide what they do. He lets her call the shots for once. He does things with HER in mind. Some days they swim. Some days they bike ride. Some days they paint. Some days they do all of these, and more! And on those days, my poor Dad is worn out by the end of the day. And so is Evie. But on those days my and Jeff's hearts are so full.

Because on days where my Dad spends a lot of time with Evie, those are the days Jeff and I can't spend time with her. Those are the days when Jeff needs me by his side - either because I have a lot of maintenance work to do on him, or because he needs extra care, like this wound that has been pestering us of late. There is nothing - and I mean nothing better - than when Jeff and I are stuck inside, forced by necessity to put his SCI first, and we can hear Papa and Evie laughing in the backyard together. There's no better feeling knowing that your child is happy. And on the hard days, Papa makes that possible for us.

About a week ago, I was putting Jeff back to bed. We'd had a great evening with my Dad. He'd played with Evie earlier in the day, then we had dinner together, and watched a movie as a family. And as I was putting the sling around Jeff to transfer him into bed, I noticed tears welling up in his eyes. I grabbed the tissue and wiped. He looked up at me with so much emotion on his face and in his voice. "I'm so thankful for your Dad," he told me quietly. "I mean, you're my hands and feet in a way that you keep me alive every day. But he's my hands and feet in a different way. He plays with Evie in ways I can't anymore. And I'm so grateful for that."

My Dad has often told me that being my father is one of his life's greatest accomplishments. Learning from him and applying characteristics he instilled in me like responsibility, independence, and compassion are among mine, especially in recent years. We always try to tell my Dad how much we love him and how much we appreciate his company and his help. But I don't know if he realizes he's so much more than that. 

More than a Dad.

More than a Father-in-Law.

More than a Papa.

We love you so much, Dad.

xoxo