Friday, June 27, 2014

The Anchor

A good friend of mine recently told me about a personality test she'd taken. It's designed by a woman named Sally Hogshead (isn't that a great name?!) It's called the Fascination Advantage and you answer a series of questions to determine what traits are dominant in how the world perceives you. Then you are assigned an archetype - a symbol of your personality or dominant traits.

So I decided to take the test.

Whenever I do exercises like this I always I hope I get words like ... intriguing ... mysterious ... or ... passionate to describe me.

Not. Even. Close.

After answering the questions and waiting as a little graphic on my computer screen whirled around, calculating my inner strengths, I see my archetype in bold, blue letters appear ...

The Anchor

I'm a huge chunk of metal that reeks of seawater? Not exciting to say the least.

But not surprising either. As I read the traits of the anchor, I see that they are really and truly 100% accurate as to who I am - and apparently how others see me.

Calm and

I think I've probably always embodied these traits, but I can say they are even more apparent in me since Jeff's accident. I've certainly become extremely protective of my family. I protect them in the best ways I know how - by making smart, purposeful decisions. By analyzing all angles of a situation. By trying my best to stay calm under extremely stressful circumstances. And by pushing forward in a steady, thoughtful manner.

My god it's the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

I have times, especially at night when I'm trying to wind down, when I can't help but freak out in my mind a little. I start thinking things like "What if something else bad happens? What if something happens to me and I can't take care of my family?" I literally have to tell myself out loud to stop thinking like that. I'm practical enough to know that's no way to live - in fear of fear. But sometimes I can't help it.

I just want to keep my family safe. Who doesn't?

My family has had a rough year, no doubt. We were smooth sailing for so long, then one wave - literally - altered our course forever. Getting back out onto that sea of life has been scary. But set sail again, we must.

My family is my precious cargo, and it's my job to keep them afloat, not adrift.

Afterall ...

I am the anchor.

Me and my "precious cargo."

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